Why Diamond Fish Exists

This blog was five years in the making before I finally breathed life into it. It began well over five years ago, when my daughter spoke her first word: "that." It was the most versatile first word that a child could possibly use. There was no need for Mama, or cookie, or yes, or no. If she wanted something, she wanted dat. If she didn’t like something, she would rather not have dat. She needed to be held by dat person. She needed to nurse from dat breast. She needed to be handed dat toy. She needed to read dat book.

There began my adventure as a parent to a child who had a unique way of using words and language—who shaped her own world out of sounds and words and phrases, and invited me to step into it and share it with her. Each step of the way through this new world, I learned something about myself, and about my daughter, and about the ways our individual paths through life intersect with one another's.

As the years went by and my baby became a toddler and my toddler became a child, the thoughts and words grew more complex and more insightful. These little fragments of language sometimes made me laugh, often made me cry, and always—always--made me think. Because inside the little unintentional koans and the charming misuses of language were powerful lessons that even the wisest adults could learn from. And, at the very least, the little words she spoke were funny.

The story of my daughter’s journey into language wouldn’t be complete if I failed to mention a factor that has influenced the path we’ve taken. She is autistic—a trait that is nearly universally tied to tremendous differences in the way people process and use language. I think it has granted her an edge that, from an early age, allowed her to use words in a way that was remarkably different from usual.

This blog is a memoir of wit and wisdom from one autistic child, and I have no doubt that it can provide some insight into the use and perception of words and language by autistic children (and autistic people in general). But it is not a guide or a tool for seeing “inside” autism itself. Autism is not a place, or a puzzle, or a secret language. Even if you could use this book to see into my daughter’s mind, neuron-for-neuron, it would still only be one autistic mind. And, as they say: when you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism.

The title "Diamond Fish" itself is homage to one of my daughter's quirky observations. When she was two and a half years old, she described a small, rusty screw as a "tiny little pink robot diamond fish." I selected the name because the eponymous diamond-fish incident was one of my favorite peeks into the way my daughter thinks and looks at the world.  

I don’t expect these little bits of wisdom to change lives or shatter worldviews. I do expect it to make you crack a smile or two-- and, if I’ve done my job correctly, I expect it to get you to reconsider a thing or two that you thought you knew.