Bubble Wrap

3.5 Years:

“Hey, sweetie can you keep a secret? I’m going to show you the extra-special present we got for ou friend.”
“I’ll keep it a secret!”
“Okay… Here it is…”
“OH MY GOODNESS! YOU GOT HER BUBBLE WRAP!”

Value is very much in the eye of the beholder. I think we all remember the days when we genuinely valued a chocolate bar over a Rolex and didn’t understand the strange system of money and value that our parents used to navigate the world. For some very lucky people, that sense of wonder and intrinsic value never really goes away. Those are the people who would still be perfectly happy about receiving bubble wrap as a gift.

The gift in question was the most financially valuable item I had ever purchased, costing more than ten times what I had spent on any previous gifts. I had spent many months of savings on it and was thrilled about giving it to its intended recipient.

Of course, as soon as I opened the box that contained this treasure, my daughter got excited about the wrong thing: the bubble wrap it was packaged under. I ended up giving the bubble wrap to her, and I think she considered it to be the most wonderful gift I had ever given. The thing inside it? Secondary.

Makes my Mouth Taste Spicy

3.5 Years: “That makes my mouth taste spicy.”

My daughter, like me, has a weird neurological set-up called synesthesia, which means that some “wires” in her brain cross and cause her to experience sensory input in unusual ways: for example, by “seeing” music or “tasting” colors. For me, it’s weak and doesn’t have a tremendous impact on my life. It’s just a matter of having strange physical sensations in response to certain sounds. For my daughter, it is, or at least was, a major part of her life.

I first learned that my daughter had strong synesthesia when she was three years old and developed a strong aversion to glitter. Anything glittery or sparkly caused her to cry out in pain and grab her mouth. She would cry, “That makes my mouth taste spicy!” and would grimace, as if eating a chili pepper, while I fetched her a glass of water and hid the offending image. We eventually had to completely eliminate glitter from our home, even modifying our Christmas tree to get rid of “spicy” ornaments.

Her synesthesia has grown weaker over the years, but it’s still there. Glitter doesn’t bother her anymore, but she still describes experiencing tactile and visual sensory input in unusual ways. Over time, I found out that synesthesia is very common among autistic children and tends to peak in the toddler years. Interestingly, since most autistic (and even neurotypical) children aren’t able to clearly articulate their experiences at two or three years of age, most of them never express how they’re processing senses. Had my daughter been nonverbal, I would have never known that glitter was the trigger for her distress. She would have simply begun crying or screaming and I would have no way of knowing why.

It’s an important lesson to be learned—not just about human neurology and the development of senses, but also about how things aren’t always what they seem, particularly for special-needs kids. 

What Few Other Parents Hear

3.5 Years: “Hey, Mama, I think you’re doing a really great job taking care of me.”

I never would have expected to hear this. Parenting is a notoriously thankless job. We do it because it’s our duty, not because we will ever be recognized for our efforts (by our kids or anyone else). No matter how much effort we put into the day-to-day struggles of raising our kids, someone will say we’re doing it wrong. And that someone, especially if we have preschoolers or teens, will usually be our own children.

Imagine my surprise when I actually got praised for my parenting by a stubborn and sassy three-year-old. I didn’t expect it, but that one little moment was permanently logged in my memory as something to love and appreciate.